hunger, made to crave day two

chocolates and cheesecakes

french fries

food

food

food

too many thoughts occupied 

with food

how do i go from this

to craving, yearning, for the courts of

my Lord

desiring

a fullness in my whole soul

top to bottom

Jesus, my Lord

Beginning to read Made to Crave. Also, fasting today and praying for direction for my church. Ironic, maybe, or by design...

As I sit here hungry, I pray for direction for my church community. I pray for God's blessings on all the churches of northeast Ohio. I pray for new leaders and new disciples of Jesus, especially in our student ministry. I pray God increases in my life, and I decrease, especially in my desire to eat unhealthy things and satisfy (try to) my soul with food.

My soul yearns, even faints,

for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and my flesh cry out

for the living God. 

 

Psalm 84:2

what do I crave? made to crave day one

I've joined an online Bible study going through the book Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. It's one of those books I've had on my shelf for a long time, but never bothered to read. It's finally time.

I'm sick and tired of leading my life and turning to things like food to comfort and satisfy me. I'm looking to crave so much more - crave my God that created me to worship him. 

I'll be posting my progress, blogging about the book and online activities. Writing more poetry. 

i'm backwards

going the wrong way

typical, usual, i keep playing with

the setbacks

satisfaction in the moment

feel-good on demand

when did i let myself 

crave this and that

empty of me, change me to less

fill me with you, become more of Jesus

i am less, he is more

overcome me, bring me

along the straightest path

to my happiness in you

daily time with God

I'm trying to be better this year about spending time with God daily and also praying and reading the Bible. I need to be better about it. My word of the year is "discipline" - trying to be a better disciple of Jesus and also be disciplined in my spiritual growth as well as many other areas, including physical, financial, etc.

I want to write more here, and be more creative as well. It's helpful for me to write - I've been trying to keep a written journal, but it might be easier to type it out!

I've been struggling with a few things lately, not quite ready to talk about it here, but I'm hoping to get to a place where I can open up, maybe here, but especially with God.

unsettled

unsettled today
with a whisper of warmth in the wind
sun, pink and yellow
time myself, alone, thinking
am I right?

what more could I be?
what more should I be?

wanting and wanting
dividing the desires from the callings
deep and deeper

unsettling
put me in another place and time

answered prayer and revelations

I realized today I think God answered a prayer for me, something I've been praying about for awhile. I asked him to be very clear with me on this, and I'm pretty sure he was. It's unexpected, but I have to see it for what it is. There's no other way to read it.

Another revelation of mine, as well. I invite people to church regularly and get turned down a lot. What am I doing, sacrificing for these friends and family members? How can I expect them to give this a try if I'm not also giving their lives a try? More to think about!

reading the new testament this year

So my friend Amanda started a blog, which inspired me to try to write more here! I'm trying to read the New Testament in a year, and also really just spend much more time with God. It's not easy, I have to develop the habit, but I already see the benefits. It's so, so necessary to do this to be able to grow closer to Jesus.

This year has already been great, and I expect a lot of amazing things for 2013. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me. I want to be changed, guided by the story he's writing for me, and open to trusting even the craziest of paths. Here goes!

tight

Heart is hurting a lot tonight
Tight
Squeezing
Waves, painful
Anxiety overwhelming
Fear, flooding

Alone

Needing a touch
A gesture
Discover the plan

How will you find me?

Love

Love me and want me and see me

Light up
In the room, empty before
Full, complete, safe

Me, and you